Shouldn't it be Me?
by Celsius009
Summary: Chapter One: Colette's feelings on the budding relationship between Lloyd and Sheena. Not for those who like Colette. Chapter Two: A songfic involving Zelos. Not for those who like Zelos.
1. Shouldn't it be Me?

**Author's Notes:**

**If you didn't read the beginning summary, this is _not_ for Colette lovers (or likers).**

**So here is the breakdown: I get tickled a bit when I see all the Oneshots about Sheena watching on as Colette and Lloyd walk away into the sunset. More so when I noticed there were almost no SxL/C ones. My solution? Write my own, with a pairing I like, for you all to enjoy!**

**I apologize in advance for those Colette lovers who ****(for some reason, despite my earlier warning) continue reading past this point, but we all have our own opinions on what or who we like. I don't like Colette, and I've warned you about it. I don't want to be hearing any whiners.**

* * *

Does he even know what he's doing to me?

It hurts. Every time I look at him, I'm reminded of what I can't have. Can't ever feel. Can't ever hold. It's…a sad thing. To realize that you will live your entire life knowing your other half doesn't see itself as yours. Martel only knows I could love him enough for the both of us, but…he could never see me that way. He only has eyes for _her_. I doubt he even sees it himself yet…

Before I met her, not once in my entire life had I ever felt the emotion of jealousy. It's true, growing up I always wanted to be like the other kids. But then I always knew I was special. I was something no one was else was, or could ever be. Then I saw her, the girl who was so many things I wasn't – so many things I could never be! I don't know which of these things she had that made Lloyd see her in a way he could never see me, but for the first time in my life I wished I were someone completely different: Her.

Does she know what she's doing to me?

I don't think she knew I had eyes for him when she took him from me. She still speaks to me as a friend would, no ill intention, no rivalry. Yet she continues to do harm all the same. When she embraces him in front of me, watches on as he walks out of a room, engaging in "girl talks" with me, always leading the conversation towards Lloyd...

_Why_ couldn't she just love Zelos and leave Lloyd alone? Why did she have to ruin what could have – what _would_ have been? I've known Lloyd since childhood. I was willing to sacrifice myself for his world to continue, for his life could continue – for him to live happy! What has she ever done? Killed half her village? Tried, and failed, to kill me? If anyone deserves Lloyd, _shouldn't_ it be me?

I watch them now, sitting side by side with their backs to a tree. Her head tilts dangerously with its back to the trunk and I hold my breath. But just as I'm about to sigh in relief, I feel a tremendous ache in my chest as her head finally falls onto Lloyd's shoulder...something he always got uncomfortable with when I did it...

Lloyd probably doesn't even realize what she is to him, but she knows better than to mistake what they have for friendship, and she'll be patient enough to wait as long as it takes for him to come around. The firelight dances across their features and I can see a faint smile on her face as she leans further into Lloyd's shoulder. He still sleeps, but his head droops somewhat to rest on top of hers.

My heart aches again, and I wish I could still shed tears when I see her slowly reach over and hold Lloyd's hand with her own, folding her fingers between his. He's still dreaming, but amidst the shadows and flickering light, my angel vision can pick out the ends of his mouth uplifting ever so slightly; and only with my enhanced hearing can barely hear him mutter "Sheena…" in his sleep over the crackling fire and heavy breathing of others.

At this she opens her eyes, gazing up at him with a somewhat startled look on her face. But she smiles and slowly begins bringing her head up to his. It's torture for me to watch her gently lay a soft kiss on his cheek. She then quickly glances around to see if anyone saw, when our eyes lock.

The girl that stole my _everything_ smiles at me, and it takes every drop of willpower to force my mouth into what I hope passes as an acceptable grin. She closes her eyes and returns to sleeping on Lloyd's shoulder, a look of pure contentment on both of their faces.

I turn away, looking instead to the moon, praying with all my heart it can do something, _anything_ to help quell the rage of emotions…and the pain, that their happiness together brings me.

* * *

**Writing in first person? Pff, never again (that was hard lol).**

**A great thank you out to Twilight Scribe for being the Best Beta Eva.**

**Till next story,  
****C9**


	2. Sometime Around Midnight

**Being a person of absolutely zero musical capabilities my opinions of songs are valued much more highly than all of yours thus making this an indisputably great song. Look it up on youtube or something (seriously though the writing is supposed to go with the song. Go look it up if you're gonna read)**

**Performed by The Airborne Toxic Event. Ignore the lead singer's resemblance to Agent Smith.**

* * *

Sometime Around Midnight

_And it starts... Sometime around Midnight. Or at least that's when you lose yourself, for a minute or two..._

"Hey Zelos, c'mon man – night's young!" the younger men egged him on, pushing another drink into his hands. "Another drink for the Savior of the Worlds!"

_As you stand... Under the bar lights. And the band plays some song about forgetting yourself for a while..._

"Alright guys. One more." He chuckled, rubbing bleary eyes and looking into the glare of lights in the mirror across the bar.

Something caught his eye. Dark hair, fair skin...

_And the piano's this melancholy soundtrack to her smile._

He turned, wanting to make sure it wasn't the light. Eyes scanning the crowd until...

_And that white dress she's wearing you haven't seen her for a while..._

"Sh...Sheena?" he mumbled, placing the drink behind him as he stared dumbstruck, trying to sort through his hazy thoughts. 'She was... We were together... But...'

_But you know…_

'…Not anymore...'

… _That she's watching._

'Heh, her loss.'

_She laughing she's turning she's holding her tonic like a cross._

Sheena threw her head back in laughter. That sound… How did he ever forget that incredible sound? Like the sweetest music echoing in his ears.

He caught her eye.

_The room's suddenly spinning she walks up and asks how you are._

"Zelos… How've you been?"

Only kindness in her eyes… Even through everything that'd passed between them, only kindness...

_So you can smell her perfume you can see her lying naked in your arms..._

He was speechless, mouth torn between its usual smirk and a pained expression. Her scent… It was… Was…

His body was flooded with too many sensations. Overwhelming him. Sweeping his mind someplace else entirely.

_And so there's a change, in your emotions. And all these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind –_

He remembered every moment they shared together. Every beautiful sound that came out of her voice, every mysterious look that'd ever entered her eyes.

_Of the curl of your bodies like two perfect circles entwined._

Every touch she'd ever graced him with.

He took a step back to balance himself. It was too much.

What... How did they become so separate?

What did he do wrong?

_And you feel hopeless and homeless and lost in the haze of the wine._

A man in red touched a hand to her shoulder.

"Sheena? Ready to go?" he asked out of Zelos' hazy peripherals. Zelos could only focus on her as she regarded the man smiling, nodding. She threw one last backward glance in Zelos' direction, smiling sympathetically.

_Then she leaves... with someone you don't know._

'Wait that… Do I know…?' Zelos shook his head, trying to separate memories from stupor.

_But she makes sure you saw her she looks right at you and bolts._

"No… Wait!" Zelos managed finally, voice rising. "Sheena!"

_As she walks out the door your blood boiling your stomach in ropes._

His heart wrenched in jealously – pained confusion.

_And your friends say "What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."_

"I gotta go." Zelos muttered, pushing the drinks away, "I gotta…"

Zelos knocked a glass over as he moved suddenly, picking up from the bar and going for the door, wanting to see her. Needing to see her. Needing to…

He staggered outside and was hit by a wall of cold. He'd left his jacket inside but didn't notice.

The streets of Meltokio were sparsely populated this winter's night, though Zelos still couldn't find the one person he was looking for. He set off in a direction, feet trudging through snow.

Things had gone so wrong between them. They had grown so different. So distant.

His memory replayed the sound of her sweet laughter as he tickled her, her kind expression as she helped him up after falling, her beauty radiating in the morning sun which fell through his living room windows.

She looked up as he came down the stairs, scratching his tousled hair. He was about to greet her "Good morning!" when he noticed a single tear shining in the sunlight.

"This… Isn't working, Zelos." She said quietly. He stared at her, stricken.

Then he recovered, "Heh, if you say so." He answered, shrugging ambivalently.

But he realized that he still loved her. That defining thought stood clear in his otherwise foggy brain.

_And you walk... Under the streetlights. And you're too drunk to notice that everyone's staring at you._

He stumbled into a trashcan, knocking it over.

_You just don't care what you look like – the world is falling around you._

He picked himself up, eyes scanning the streets.

Snow fell softly around Meltokio, dampening the sounds of his feet as he struggled forward.

_You just have to see her, you just have to see her, you just have to see her..._

They were gone.

"Sheena… I…" he fell to his knees, unfamiliar moisture dampening his cheeks. He just had to see her…

_You know that she'll break you in two._


End file.
